November 17 Edition

Matron Amazes All with Her Speedy Recovery

Although she is not yet completely healed, even the monarch has noticed the vast improvement in the matron's condition over the past few days. She is now able to sit through a worship service without much pain and can do quite a bit of bending, according to our matron reporter. The monarch was very gracious to buy her some flat dress shoes so she could once again wear a skirt, which our fashion report reports was very fashionable on Sunday. "She just looks great in EVERYTHING!" an eye-witness confided confidentially to our staff. Of course, we here at the Chronicle are thrilled she is healing so quickly and wish her all the best.

Photography Staff Takes a Week Off

"I decided to let them take a much-needed vacation this week. Our photographers work as hard as any of us to produce this periodical and we truly appreciate all their hard work. It isn't always easy taking the outstanding photos they take." This was how our editor responded to questions from the reporting staff today. In this reporter's opinion, the editor was right. We owe a lot of our success to our photographers.

Monarch Delivers Edifying Sermon on Edification

Sunday evening was the time, the church building was the place, the monarch was the guest speaker for the evening. Comments that might have been heard after the sermon were, "Amazing delivery!" "He didn't even seem nervous." "Great organization and illustrations." "If I were an edifice, I would be quite tall after that amount of edification." The monarch has pleased and amazed the local congregation by signing up to preach at least once each month. We will continue to report on his success in this endeavor.

Morrisons Provide Lunch on Sunday

This just in from our cooking department:
The Morrisons provided lunch for several people on Sunday. Baked potatoes, cheese, chili, and various other foods were available for consumption. Mr. Morrison was the guardian of the brownies as they cooked in the active kitchen, checking on them paranoidedly every few minutes - even taking them out while they were still liquid to keep them from burning. He was successful - they were not burned. They were also not edible at that point, but later they were.

This Week's Vocabulary Builder

This week's newly developed word comes from one of the younger members of the family. Fefuhfuhfuh: a biblical command issued by Jesus. Example: "Do you know what Jesus said for, 'Be opened?' 'Fefuhfuhfuh!' I learned that in my class at church!"